On the brink of an old life...

And so I made a choice.... a choice I had toyed with for the past two years.... a decision that could change my life, certainly my bank balance and hopefully make my kids super happy... its easy to guess... yes I finally quit... after being in the dilemma for 2 years or more... after going through the whole process in my mind over and over again... I finally chose my kids...At one point, I really thought I would have to keep those "chits" that I have heard of... usually folks keep chits at "The big Boss' " feet and then they wait for his august vote. The deal is sealed, when a flower falls on either chit and voila, the decision making is taken out of your hand, just so you can easily thank or blame "The big Boss" later... yep at one point my mind was so befuddled that I really felt like choosing this course of action...Stress is bad and some times its good as well.... extremely stressful times propel you into making big decisions before you can think it through the umpteenth time... and for that I am ever so thankful to the past not so awesome 2-3 weeks... they just made me press "Send" before I could yet again press "Shift Delete"So now, here I am footloose and fancy free, in my notice period... I am full of so many feelings that I feel like a cocktail...guess I could use up many of those swanky emoticons we have on Whatsapp :)So theres a dollop of fear, fear of whats gonna happen when theres no paycheck soon, a dash of insecurity, coz, now I am back to being just a housewife, though God knows that a housewife is like around ten people rolled into one...but still theres a dash of that cliched insecurity that all women of the present have...a pinch of worry, coz again like the women of this generation, one worries that now that theres no paycheck attached to me, I am no longer a racehorse... I may just be relegated to the sidelines y'know... coz of that... a wistful feeling lingers right through, like the base of a good cocktail... coz I am certainly going to miss so many wonderful true friends that I have made over the past 4 years....But and theres always a but... over and above all these feelings.... like the beautiful garnish that adorns a glamorous cocktail.... theres happiness, a sense of peace and a feeling of freedom... akin to having stepped out an awesome beautiful jail... right into the fresh air that beckons me!!!The sense of being free from ever so many schedules, brings a rush of thoughts... a long list begins to build in my mind...  with ever so many things I put on the "back burner" waiting for the elusive "time". This list is just getting longer by the day and while I know I may never get to doing all of them.... just the thought that I can if I wish to, makes me feel like I suddenly have this big bar of  Cadbury's Silk :):) and whats more its all for me lol.Wish me luck, folks as I step into a new chapter in my life... it feels new, yet its actually old...coz in the beginning and in the end (whenever thats going to be), I was always a mother first and thats what I am going to be always... I may don many other hats off and on... but I discovered the tough way that this hat is the one that should be on most of the time:)


  1. A Mother makes it all and all of us will..staying at home or working.. Love your writing. Great luck to u :=) will miss your Friday stories.

    1. Oh thank u Ashwini:). Indeed we all r mothers first

  2. Awesome write up nivi. Very emotional too. Good luck with ur future.


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